Wednesday 1am

God,

I can’t wait!

I was thinking about it today, and I just got all excited!

You’ve got a man out there for me. Somewhere. Waiting. And I was thinking about all the things I don’t want to wait to do with him. It’s going to be amazing. Sunday mornings for one! Getting to make love with him, in a way only meant for husbands and wives to experience, and then going to worship you, and thank you for the very love you give us, and allow us to share. How awesome is that going to be? I can’t fathom how wonderful a day started out that way would feel.

I can’t help thinking about all the celebrations of the little things in life. Like an anniversary or a birthday, I can’t wait to celebrate the little things in life. A Friday night with friends or a rare week vacation to just be lazy and enjoy each other, soaking in glances and shared moments of joy. The touch of skin on skin… And eventually, the joy of children, watching them grow, and raising them to love you.

God there is a man out there, you handpicked for me. He is out there, somewhere, and I can’t wait to meet him, can’t wait to know who he is, and to know him so well, to share myself with him. To be patient and loving and understand when I need to back off. I find the moments like this in my singleness where I get to thank you for what will be, amazing, beautiful and far between. I don’t need to worry about it, because it will happen in your time. You’ve shown me that there are men out there that are kind and funny, who are hard working, generous, and have a servant’s heart. Even if it’s just one man that I’ve met like that, I know that there has to be at least one more out there, because the one I’ve met may not be mine.

I know my issues, and I am ready, God, for there to be someone else in this relationship besides you and me, but if your will be that he doesn’t show up for a longer while still, then together you and me will be, and I’ll wait, while growing in you, because that’s the patient obedient thing to do. I’ll stand here with my heart held open and my lips singing the song that you give me to sing.

I pray you’d watch over the man that is to be the winner of my love. I pray you’d guard his heart, and mine, from things in this world that would rather see us apart, that you would bring us together in your time, at the perfect point in your song, your score, your play. That love would not awaken or stir until you say so. I pray that we would seek you continually, both separately and together.

Hold me close while I wait, it is getting longer, and harder to wait without growing bitter. Hold the enemy away from me. Help me to focus on the joy that will come, instead of the pain felt now, because I know beauty comes through pain. That in the end I will have a better knowledge of myself; I will have a better knowledge of you, and also be able to understand my husband all the better. Thank you, for loving me enough to allow me glimpses into how it might be. I praise you for your utter authority, and grant you the authority to work in my life. I trust you to be the keeper of my life, and you won’t hurt me or forsake me. I pray that I could always remember that small fact.

Amen.