Declares the LORD.
I believe this. Yet, I'm trying to control it.
At times like these, where it's late, my mind is tired, and I'm struggling to think, and I have many thoughts in my head, it becomes easy to question the next part of the verse. "Plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." It becomes so easy when I wonder, how in the midst of this will I EVER prosper, I'm in debt up to my ears with student loans, and where is this future? WHAT is this future?
Yes, God knows... often, I feel like that isn't enough. Like I need to know where I'm going. It sounds so faithless, so cold, so cruel, out there like that, but it's how I feel, even if I know it's not right, that it is enough for God to know and me to not know.
So how do I move on with this? How in the world, does my faith get stronger when I question what God is doing, and question whether He does know best? Plain and simple, it doesn't. My faith, it's so central to who I am, yet I falter at it. I question the founder of my faith, and I wonder how things can get better when I don't see clear direction, even though I'm seeking it. If it's there, am I just ignoring it? Lord, clear my thoughts, and make your thoughts for me known to me.
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