It's been awhile, and you know what? That's perfectly okay. I'm sitting here with about a thousand things rolling through my head, and the one that keeps popping out is that I just want to move on already. Like I've been a fly stuck to fly paper for the last three years, and now, I just want to detach and escape and move the heck on.
This past weekend I went to my cousin's wedding in Texas, the bridesmaids were kind of flipping out about their makeup, so I helped them with their makeup. After that pretty much everyone in my life was sitting there telling me that I need to find out how to become a full time makeup artist, because I could make so much money at it. Well the problem is after looking into a few of those programs, that I would have to go to school from 8:30 to 4 (not bad relatively speaking) Monday through Friday (there's the bad part) for a semester, and I personally don't want to think about how much that costs... I didn't even look into that... So now I think I'm going to try to look into getting a job at the MAC counter somewhere? I don't know, but I know that I love makeup and helping people look beautiful and feel better about themselves... I know that makeup can't solve the worlds problems with self image, but if for one night I can help a young woman (or an older woman) feel better about themselves, then I'll feel good... Beauty is from the inside, I like pulling it out of people.
Other than that I'm kind of over trying to meet people who are worth my time, in the dating sense. It really feels like there's just something wrong with me. Like somehow this whole "experiment" I'm trying is just turning out to be a big let down that's turning into a self-pity fest on my part because I'm not getting the desired results (which would be men knocking each other over for a chance to take me to dinner... yeah I'm a dreamer... just kidding... no really.) But to say the least it's disappointing when I look in the mirror at the changes I've been through, and I still have never been on a date or had a boyfriend. Yet I get the comments that "Oh, I bet you're dating now that you've lost all this weight." Well no, I'm not, but thanks for telling me that you basically think that because I was heavier, you thought I was unlovable, un-dateable, etc.
Next Chapter please, I'm kind of over this one.
